Chuck Norris can whistle in sign language.

Chuck Norris does not need an elevator. Buildings lower themselves for him.

Chuck Norris can fry an egg on an iceberg.

Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.

Chuck Norris does not Google things. Google Chuck Norris things.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad.

Chuck Norris can milk a cow by nodding at it.

Chuck Norris once threw a football so far it became a satellite.

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

Chuck Norris can lick his elbow.

Chuck Norris can break a mirror and still have seven years of good luck.

Chuck Norris can walk a cat.

Chuck Norris once kicked a soccer ball so hard it became the moon.

Chuck Norris can catch a shadow.

Chuck Norris can overclock a microwave by yelling at it.

When Chuck Norris goes to a restaurant, the waiter tips him.

Chuck Norris can make a cat bark.

Chuck Norris can parallel park a train.

Chuck Norris can blend rocks into a smoothie.

Chuck Norris can play ping pong with himself. And lose.