Toughness

Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.

Under Chuck Norris's beard, there is no chin. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia. Fear of tight spaces is called claustrophobia. Fear of Chuck Norris is called logic.

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he does not turn the lights on. He turns the dark off.

Chuck Norris does not wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris was once charged with attempted murder. The word attempted was dropped because Chuck Norris does not attempt anything.

A bear trap once caught Chuck Norris. The bear trap had to gnaw off its own leg to escape.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris does not breathe. He holds air hostage.

Chuck Norris does not flush the toilet. He scares the crap out of it.

Chuck Norris does not read books. He stares them down until they give him the information he wants.

Chuck Norris can pick a lock with his glare.

Chuck Norris does not need an elevator. Buildings lower themselves for him.

Chuck Norris can break a mirror and still have seven years of good luck.

Chuck Norris can iron a shirt while wearing it.

Chuck Norris once shaved with a lawnmower.

Chuck Norris can scare a scarecrow.